scene#53

its over, isnt it? ive finally learnt to stop hoping for things to be good again. it will be good again someday. i have faith, faith in changes just not faith in people anymore. its going to get better for me, hopefully. and this month is a good month.

scene#52

i left twitter, facebook and instagram because it makes me mad, seeing things i dont wanna see. im happy now, i guess.

scene#51

i cant do it. i cant do it alone. it gets into my head everytime. i cant wait to meet someone who'll help me get through this. apparently, everyone already has someone but ive got no one to put all my trust into. it hurts so badly and right now, i cant go past this. i have the urge in every inch of me to let go of it, but i cant. and no one can help me do that. i just dont like it this way. i cant take silence anymore. whats wrong with me?

scene#50

i feel so fucking crushed like someone just stabbed me in the fucking chest. i feel so fucking fucked like i fucked up everything real bad and theres no way i can get out of all the mess. i feel like everyone hates me and i hate this mixed feelings. i just hate all the feelings and all the things im thinking inside my head. its not me overthinking this time, it is really happening. i hate to think that i'll be alone until the day i finally leave this place. i hate myself.

scene#49

and thats sad because if you could, you would have gone all the way to make it better the second time. theres nothing more you can do but try to be better in the future so you dont have to keep wishing, you just need to keep living. you need to feel alive in every moment and dont dread whats coming.